If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So vagazzling was a success
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
