It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
