She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
