Got a toothbrush?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
