I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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