I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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