I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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