she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
