We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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