It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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