if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
