dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
