Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
