Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
