im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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