ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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