forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm passing your future prison.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
