Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize