He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
