Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
