Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
