im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
