Do vagina's smell?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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