She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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