His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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