Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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