dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
