i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't put those talents on a resume
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
