We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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