Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
40s are totally the cure
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
soo... how was my night?
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