none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
