honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
as a side note pls kill me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
