Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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