Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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