just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This is my gift to your gina
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
