and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
