I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
