Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
