Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
zippers are such a cool invention
operation have a gay friend backfired
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
