Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
