I wannas sexs uuuuu
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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