You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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