I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
