Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
