just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
