I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
