Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
