Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
