She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
