I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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