Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't think brook has ever known best
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize