It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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